the pain ive known has grown
and hollowed out a hole inside my head
and called it home cause thats the heart-est part of me
so pardon me if ive been bargaining
i can't accept the role that I've been sold
been tryna take it back
but gods return policy is wack
i guess im stuck and someones fucked
and so am i a normal guy
that only sorta wants to die
cause i was born to die like
lana del ray said
think im going brain dead
think i hardly think at all i think
id fail the turing test cause whats the point in acing it
being hella conscious for another dumb obnoxious day is just a waste
id fuckin hate it anyway
and overcomplicate what has been unaccomplished
simplify my little life i get the knife and take it
thats inevitable
im lookin hell in the hole
im losin all self control
i feel like the girl in the coma from the last black mirror episode
yellin from the back seat
ridin in the taxi
where the fuck im goin i dont know cause no one asked me
does it even matter i dont think so
do i even matter i dont think so
starin into hell and i dont blink i know im there
im burnin
im maturin learnin i deserve it
imma curse a person waiting on a hearse
to take my corpse up to the church
another sermon goes unheard about a nerd that spoke some words
and went to work and paid his bills and walked on earth
and now hes chillin in the dirt and feelings hurtin
cause i served some sort of purpose
but im gone now
or im gone then
but im gone now
whats the difference
if i exist
with indifference
whats the difference
it doesnt make sense
dont think i make sense
i think myself to death